No, this is not possible. The shared/listen properties allow widgets in the same context to share selections (as constraints in the case of DataGrids or as selected item in the case of DataView).
There is, however, no mechanism to allow control buttons in one DataGrid to affect the behaviour of buttons in another.
This is currently not possible. You can use the selection of another DataGrid as constraint for your DataGrid, but you cannot use the selection of another DataGrid as input for an invoke button.